Healthy Sustainability: My Story

As a writer, I often learn a lot about topics. While I was not introduced to the concept of sustainable living and climate change when writing, the more I wrote about the topic, the more I became determined to live up to my newfound sustainable ethics…to a point where said ethics became unhealthy for me. This is my journey to finding a balance between my reality and needs and my ethics when it comes to sustainable living.

When I started on my sustainable journey. I thought I could do it in a day. I looked at it in a black-and-white manner. Sustainable was good, and unsustainable was bad.

While I did not throw out all my unsustainable products and devices and replace them with green alternatives, I guilt-tripped myself a lot every time I used them. I would spend hours I did not have researching companies that I would then buy products I could not afford from. I gave up on things I needed in a medical capacity to the point I fell sick and had to be hospitalized. I stopped talking to family and friends who I thought were supporting unethical and unsustainable practices without looking at the nuances. Soon even my sustainable buddies began to tire of it is all I could talk about and my extreme outlook on it.

In the end, I was almost alone, unhealthy, and burnt out. I was unhappy and guilt-tripping myself every day over the actions of big corporations I had nothing to do with. I did not have a job because no company could match my ethical standards. It came to a point where I felt guilty even being alive because of my carbon footprint. It was, in short, a terrible time for me.

Now, most of these practices aren’t inherently bad. Researching companies before we buy from them is part of mindful living. Supporting ethical and sustainable businesses is an incredible thing to do, even if some say ethical consumerism can be a trap if parent brands are unethical or we think that’s the extent of eco-actions for everyone, despite their capacity and urge to do more or less. I am a big supporter of voting with our dollar, and that is soul-fulfilling to me. And, of course, while the jury is out on whether it is healthy or not, we often make choices when it comes to medicine. Whether we will do something that is presented to us as healthy if it clashes with our ethics is a choice. The problem was I was using my ethics as a way to self-sabotage. I wasn’t living in my reality. I wasn’t understanding sustainability is a nuanced concept about long-term changes. I did not realize that it means making compromises. Yes, I can give up on nail paint despite how much I love it, but I cannot stop my medication or use an eco-friendly soap if I am allergic to it. The guilt was less about the environment and more about my relationship with myself.

Today, I am on a journey to get better. Have I abandoned sustainability?

No.

I write about it, I educate people about it. I still try to turn down jobs that ask me to support unethical and unsustainable practices. I still try to buy vegan or vegetarian and sustainable products. Now, though, I ensure they are within my budget and good for my local ecology. Today if I buy a plastic bottle of water because I left my reusable bottle at home by mistake, I put my energy into seeing how I can make use of the plastic bottle long-term to reduce its negative impact. I no longer stay thirsty to remain sustainable.

Am I there yet? Have I reached a place where I have accepted my imperfect sustainability and that I will learn new things and adapt every day? No.

I still struggle with guilt.

I often spend outside of my budget to buy the sustainable version of products, something I am working on. However, I turn a blind eye when it comes to medical needs if I have asked my doctors for alternatives and there aren’t any. I try to reduce my carbon footprint, yes, but I also do my part by trying to educate my community. I remind myself that sustainability is about corporations and community action. It is a systems issue and if I have to spend some carbon posting a video but that makes ten people switch to a low-impact life, well isn’t that a net positive? And I can always advocate for or support green media systems.

Climate change is not my sole burden to bear. It is a tough road for me to tread. Finding a balance between my ethics and reality can be both rewarding and draining. It is certainly an exercise in creativity.

But I am sharing this to remind you that you matter. Yes, your ethics are important. Yes, the world is a beautiful place that needs you to step up and help it become better, but no burden is yours alone to bear. You need to be happy and healthy to be able to help others. As long as you are not intentionally hurting others, you have the chance to give yourself the space to become better. It is okay to be imperfectly perfect. After all, even the concept of sustainability can be imperfect at times. It certainly is nuanced and ethical living needs to be tailored to each individual’s resources and responsibilities. To hopefully help with that, I have created a Low-Waste Planner where you can track your mindful habits, changes that need to be made, and ensure they’re viable and effective in the long-term. Or you can get it as a paid webinar by emailing me on roongta.bw.anjali@gmail.com

Want to know the story of a girl, like us yet not, struggling with eco-anxiety as I did? Grab a copy of Siya: A Su*c*de’s Argument, and let me know what you think! You can read it for free, with weekly updates, on Muses_Saga.

Updated- 11/03/25