Trigger Warning- Mentions of sexual attacks and attacks against women
Saw a movie on an acid attack survivor today. Came out of the theatre terrified. For a moment I was thankful that I am not as pretty as some other girls I know. Then I realised it doesn’t make me any safer. There is no reason behind rapes or acid attacks except power. They want to feel powerful. How dare you refuse them. How dare you decide to go beyond their norms. How dare you get what they couldn’t. By taking away something you are proud of or appreciated for or something that is just yours like your body, they are asserting their dominance.
Except what good is knowing the why going to do? In a moment when someone is harming me, I won’t have the time to use this analysis and it probably won’t make sense to them.
Respect. Equality. Mentality. All these words can be thrown out. Acid and rods might be banned, they’ll find something else. So what do we do?
Women have been objectified since God knows how long. Sita was kidnapped so that Ravan could show Ram he was more powerful, Drapudi was dragged by her hair and almost disrobed because Duryodhan wanted revenge for a random comment not even made by her. How disproportionate is that?
I am not going to talk about how revenge as a whole is a bad mentality or how your revenge cannot exceed the hurt you have been caused or whatever because that’s not my point.
My point is as a girl how do I feel safe? How do I not treat “all men” like they could be predators in disguise? Is there a visible symbol? How do I tell my mother that it’s alright for me to leave home at ten at night? Or argue with a friend that I can wear a short dress and go to a “dangerous” area. Incidents like these are the reasons their points exist. Except is there an area which ain’t dangerous?
Is there a way to let down guys gently because if I slap him or lodge a complaint he might attack me later. But then again he might again do it if I ignore him or let him down gently. There’s no pattern.
So what? Do I call my being a woman a curse and stay behind locked doors where it is safe? Let those barbarians have their sense of power and let them do whatever they want with me because if I say something it might cost me my life. But what use is such a life?
I am a goddamn human being, not a puppet.
I am not saying every woman or man or human being who has been discriminated against or victimized or put through some trauma should take up arms. No. The victim decides how to deal with their pain. And everyone decides how to live their life.
All I am asking is considering this. Would you rather live a half-life which also doesn’t come with a guarantee of safety because it’s not like women who toe these ancient social laws aren’t harmed? Or would you live a life where the cancer of getting hurt might be higher but which is part of something greater? Because in the end, the only way these people will lose their sense of power is if we snatch it back from them.
We show them they cannot destroy us. Yes, I know that living through a traumatic experience is tough but if we show them their actions cannot stop us, that we will not let the inhuman actions become chains around our feet, we will take away their sense of power. Because they’ll realise we are that which has been set in motion and will not stop till we reach our goals, no matter what. They’ll realise we are one. And for every head they cut off, a thousand more will rise.
Some people might make genuine mistakes and those can change but those who enjoy another’s pain and will go to such an extent to show their dominance over another? Therapy might cure them but which therapist will feel safe with them?
Updated- 19/11/2023
